If that person is Ice Cube, bonus points, because come on, that dude is awesome.
I had a good day. Did you?
And much respect if that person inspires you to the point of wanting to emulate them. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they say, and a significant portion of art is - to be honest - ripping off the artists who came before.
These are all good things, Aspiring Rapper. Here's what I learned during our five minute interaction, and (if I may) a few pointers on technique, form, and subway etiquette.
1). N.W.A.'s "Fuck Tha Police" is your jam.
I understand that. The entire subway car understands that. Because it's a classic, it addresses the complex race relations endemic in Los Angeles, and it allows those of us who have had any negative interaction with the cops something to feel better when they're done with you. And also because you played it, very loudly, on your iPhone, while declaring that you felt "so tight" hearing that rhyme and that "when [you] got [yourself] a car, [you] was gonna roll up onna cop an' blast this shit an' drive by."
2). Ice Cube is your favorite member of N.W.A.
Either that, or you've only bothered to learn his verse (the first verse) of this song. And not very well, I might add. Let's not beat around the bush - I'm The Man. I'm a 28 year old white male living in Brooklyn. I'm about as street as Jimmy Carter. I'm such a honky that when I walk down Flatbush Avenue people think the Prospect Park geese are migrating. And yet, somehow, were we to enter into a Who Knows More N.W.A. lyrics competition, I am fairly confident of victory. Anyone who has seen me even slightly intoxicated at a party (and they are legion) can attest to this.
3). Your Vitamin Water bottle is not fooling anybody.
If you're gonna drink on the local train to Manhattan at 930 in the morning, own it! Pack a hip flask. Sure, it's more illegal, but "Fuck Tha Police," remember?
4). The Q train is perhaps not your venue of choice.
At least not during the commuter rush. I noticed a generally negative response to your shouts of "A mumble mumble mumble mumpolice state / That have the authority to kill a minority" and "They rather see me in da dee dan me and 'Renzo chillin' in the Benz-o." I might have missed something due to a troublesome Angry Birds level (remember: white boy) but I'd recommend a few more rehearsals in private before you take your act on the road. Or on the rails. Or anywhere.
So carry on, Aspiring Rapper. The road ahead is tough - you need to out-rhyme me and out-charm the homeless panhandler - but keep chasing that dream. Salut.
